chapter 1

THE CROOK OF THE MOUNTIAN KING’S ELBOW

1

It’s dark in ‘ere . Dark and cold it is, like your dead mother’s smile used to be. The walls seem dim, damp and clammy, even though they ain’t really. Look at you. Could be mid winter outside it could, for all I know, for all YOU know you lazy little wanker. It ain’t though, it’s summer. Do you ‘ear me? SUMMER! All the girls will be ‘alf naked out there, in the fields. All boobs an’ bent over they’ll be, like every dream I ever had.  D’you hear me?  Boobs and bent over! And where am I? Plonked in ‘ere like the ‘alf dead.... Why do you ‘ave to keep calling me back? Eh? You shouldn’t be in ‘ere anyways! A godffer like you should be running round outside in the sunshine. Your dad wants you out there he does, needs you out there. We all do, need you out there, becoming strong. Won’t do any of us any good if you takes a liking to the indoors of things. Why do you sit in ‘ere in the dark anyways? It aint normal it aint. Woe betide us all I say. A little curse on us all you could be, a pale greasy little ghost of a curse...eh?...Any road up!

Another story is it? And what if I don’t tell eh? What will you do then? Eh? Oh don’t pout, I ‘ave a story for you. A smashin’ story it is. One as been passed down from donkeys ago, fairy story they calls it....Well you just make yourself comfortable you little poppet. After all I am your favourite aren’t I eh? I am the best rememberer aint I? I takes you on journeys don’t I? Speaks proper, like the writings Eh?  Much better than that saggy titted horror that used to entertain your dad behind your mother’s back. Before all ‘er teeth fell out and her nipples started banging her knees that is. She’s crap she is anyways. I don’t know why you bothers with ‘er. She don’t as know her arse from her elbow story wise. And she mashes her words when she talks. All spit an’ gummy porridge she is. How can you lay there an’ listen to ‘er? She makes me feel sick she does.

*

Any road up

 Is you layin’ comfy like?

Where shall I start?

*

At the beginnings of things

*

Once upon a time there was a village, a cursed village it was, and all of the people were pinched and hungry. Hungry hungry hungry, as it hadn’t rained for as long as anyone could remember, and nothing much would grow, bald as a coot the ground was, cracked and dusty. The crops were weedy in the fields and the harvest was dreadful, year upon year upon year. But the good folk of that village stayed put though, too hungry or stupid to move away and find better they were. So what was to be done? Well the head spirit man, before he died, told the village that the problem was that the distant mountain wouldn’t let it rain. Holding the clouds back he was behind his mighty rocky shoulders. The only way to save things was to appease him, make him feel special. The villagers had to prove to the mountain just how marvellous they thought he was. How big. How strong. How important to the scheme of things. The spirit man said that once everyone had convinced the mountain that the people of the kingdom thought he was fantastic, then the mountain king in all his majesty  and kindness would let go the rain clouds and it would rain.

Trouble was that just then the spirit man died. A big bird dropped a rock on his head it did, as the spirit man was off up the shops. The bird was taking the big rock back to its nest for some reason known only to it’s feathery self, and it lost its grip. The rock fell through the air like bad news and hit the spirit man smack where it hurts. Well without a spirit man to guide them and no suitable replacement available, the villagers had a meeting. They decided amongst themselves to send young lads up the mountain with offerings every time there was a new moon. This was the wrong thing to do of course, but the only man with a plan was dead. The villagers did what only stupid people could do in that situation. They got it all really wrong. What else could they do?

Now nobody really knew what was up the mountain  as it was a good few days walk away. A few had been up there in the past and told of a huge still freshwater lake teeming with rainbow coloured fishes that jumped out of the water waiting to be caught by even the most clumsy of people, and so it proved to be from what the lads who came back said.  The lake was surrounded on three sides by sheer moss covered green bluffs that ran right  up the side of the mountain for hundreds of feet . Everyone that had ever seen the lake had told of its magical atmosphere, of  it’s specialness. So then, because of that, because of the specialness, the villagers decided to leave their offering at the water side. That would be where the mountain would want his offering they thought. Somewhere nice, somewhere pretty. The pity was that it still would not rain and a few of the boys that had been sent up the mountain hadn’t come home. Some told of a stone giant called “Jimmy” that would scream and smash folk with his big boney club and nanch on their bones, but that was just talking. No one had ever seen or heard Jimmy, the story was fuelled by the disappearance of the few brave lads that would never return.

Now as it happened the job of taking the offering up the mountain fell to Arvey. Arvey was a strapping lad, big and strong and not afeared of  no one. “I’ll take it up” he said “An’ woe betide any Jimmys that tries to eat upon me! I shall teach him a lesson as he won’t forget. Sure as eggs is eggs.” Not scared of  anybody that was our Arvey. And I am sure that he would have done very well, very well indeed, had not been for his step mother. Wicked she was, wicked and selfish. She wasn’t from the local villages roundabouts. Arvey’s step mum came from quite far away. She had settled in the village by accident almost, met Arvey’s dad and they had got married after a short courting and a tuppeny upright. Well she had had enough of the village by now. No rain. No food to speak of. “Let’s go” she would say to Arveys dad “Let’s move away, back to my village. There’s food there, easier it’ll be. I shall be most pleased if you would consent and come with me.” Promised him allsorts she did should he go, but Arvey’s dad wouldn’t entertain it

“Wouldn’t be fair on the lad,”  he would say ” All his friends are here. And anyway the rain will come soon and the harvest will be as she used to be all green and bountiful. Mark my words woman.” He said “You’ll see!” but she wouldn’t see. Didn’t want to. Then one night she had a dream. A fish came to her and whispered all fishy like in her ear. Told her to go to the warlock down in the valley and get a 30 day sleeping potion. “Give the potion to your step son” said the sneaky little fish “ tell him that it will offer him protection from the stone giant, once, and only once he has placed the mountain’s offering by the waterside. Then the lad will fall asleep for 30 days, even if he doesn’t starve in his dreams, you can persuade your husband that the lad is dead when he doesn’t return. Then after a time you can use your charms upon your husband and carry him away to your own place and family many miles away.” This the wicked step mother did, down into the valley she went and bought the potion from the scary warlock who seemed to be expecting her. Then the night before Arvey was due to set off up the mountain she gave the potion to him and explained that it would make him invisible to Jimmy once he had lain the offerings down by the lapping waters edge, but not before. Arvey thanked his step mother and told her how lucky he was to be loved by someone as special as she. “ I shall thank all of the gods for you when I am by the edge of that magical lake” he said “and if the lake is as magical as they say, then the gods are bound to hear me and bless you” Arvey’s step mother kissed his forehead and told him to sleep as he would need all of his energy for the morning.

The morning came. Bright brittle cobalt blue and cold it was like polished crysophrase. Off Arvey went, off up the mountain with the village all there to see him off. All waving and cheerful they was, all cheerful cept for Arvey’s step mum. Cried all day she did, cried and lied, but such is folk. The village waved Arvey up the mountain till he had all but disappeared. The village watched his back lumbering further and further away till he was but a tiny brown speck on a sandy patch work blanket Everyone agreed that if anyone were to come back it would be the boy, should anyone please the mountain it would be Arvey.

Arvey walked for  two days. The path way wound up and up and up, steeper and steeper, round and round and round, into the clouds and beyond. The nights were fitful freezing cold endurance tests under a bitten off  fingernail of a moon, the days warm and friendly. Foot followed foot along the way as the pathway turned from a barely visible trail into nothing more than a guess. “Head for where the clouds look angriest” he had been told, and this is what he did. He felt as though the mountain was watching him in the way that he himself would watch a bug crawl up his arm before flicking it off. His legs ached and the blood pounded in his temples step after step. But when he stopped, the view! How many stories were in his field of vision, how many lives could he see from up here. When he rested he sat with his back to the frowning mountain, looking down on the world stretched out before him like a picnic blanket. Everything was still, but not silent. The grass whispered at him, the birds cawed and sang of his approach, the wind scurried around him, drying his sweat and making him cold. The village had disappeared long since, he now looked out over distant lands he didn’t know, ruled over by Lords and Kings he had only heard of by listening to the bigguns around the fire. And there, like a thin shining blue thread, the furthest away was the sea, or at least what might be the sea. Arvey had dreamt of the sea since he was a boy, of the tall ships and foreign places, of mighty castles and fantastic palaces bright as rainbows. There would be riches to be made and adventure to strap across his broad shoulders. Arvey had told himself that that would be where he was off, that would be his target when he returned from the mountain, off to sea, to be free as the wind that whipped his ears and bent the long grass.

At nights Arvey would listen out for the stone giant. He was certain that the mountain would send Jimmy out to crunch and munch on his bones. After all Arvey didn’t belong there did he, and the mountain must have felt the thud of Arvey’s uninvited paddle like feet marching up to the lake all day every day. Arvey was happy that he surely would hear a giant coming and have the chance to hide, but not tonight. Arvey had found a stream and he figured, quite rightly as it turned out, that the water must be coming from somewhere, and that somewhere according to him, must be the lake, so now all he needed to do was follow foot over foot. He was very lucky mind. As we all know that water comes from everywhere and anywhere it can, up through the ground it comes mostly, then spends all its time trying to find the sea, rabbiting amongst itself and gossiping about which way to take, but this water, this crystal icy water all tumbling over itself came from the lake, where it overflowed like a bath with the taps still on.  Arvey settled down to try and sleep, the water of the stream gurgled, rushed and spluttered. So much noise did the water make that Arvey felt sure that if Jimmy were to come calling he would not hear his approach. Arvey tried to hide himself as best he could in a soft moss covered hollow under an old dead tree trunk, there was just enough room to hide there and wait for morning. Earlier that day Arvey had picked up a magpie that had chosen to follow him, he spent most of the day talking to the bird for want of something more interesting to do. He became convinced that the bird were a spy that would betray his approach to the lake, but the bird would not fly away, stubborn like that it was. The bird chose to keep him company, never straying close enough to be within Arvey’s striking distance. It watched him now as he snuggled down in the hollow with his blanket across him. Arvey threw the bird a biscuit from his pack and closed his eyes. “You be my eyes young Mr bird, be my spy tonight and you shall have more biscuit in the morning you shall, and don’t be flying away to tell your master the king that I come. Watch for Jimmy Mr bird and wake me should he appear sniffing out my bone marrow for his supper”

Later that night Arvey was woken in a panic by the magpie pecking at his hand. The night was dark and the stream whispered urgently  to itself. His eyes wide open in fear Arvey listened hard, trying to pass over the white noise of the water and hear the distance. There! Was that a step? There again! A step and a sniff like as should come from a great big old running nose. If it was Jimmy then he would have a giant nose, on a giant face, and he would have giant ears and hear everything surely. Arvey pushed himself back into the hollow almost too scared to breathe in case those elephant sized ears would hear him. There was another step some way in the distance, a loud step as though a great weight were being plonked upon the ground, a great weight like a giant’s foot, then another almighty sniff, then a rumble like a large animal purr. Another step, but thankfully they weren’t coming closer, but one step for a giant would take him a long way, one step for a giant would be many steps for a boy from the village. The giant, for it must be the giant, was a long way behind the tree that hid Arvey in the moss hollow, if the giant stayed that side of the tree then all was safe, unless he smelt Arvey with that big horrid giant of a sniffy nose. The giant grumbled again, then coughed an almighty cough that rolled like thunder.

“AHHH!”said the giant, “AHHH....AHHH....AHHHH!!!!” Then the beast sneezed

“CHOO!!”

with such violence that the whole mountainside shook, shook to it’s very foundations. Arvey put his hands over his ears, the tree trunk that he hid behind rolled forward, and anything that wasn’t attached to the ground took flight in the force. It was like a ferocious mini twister that sprang up exploded in chaos and then died almost as quickly. Arvey pressed himself into the ground and closed his eyes tight shut, the tree had moved almost far enough to reveal Arvey’s resting place. Again the giant grumbled and growled and then to Arvey’s joy began to walk away, coughing as he went. He wanted so much to look at the giant but was too terrified. No one in the village would believe that Arvey had almost met Jimmy face to face and lived to tell because the giant had a cold and couldn’t sniff out  his hiding place. He listened to the giant walking away until he could no longer hear its footsteps. So there was a Jimmy, a huge monster of a beast that wandered the mountain. Arvey decided that he must travel by night from now on as there was very little in the way of cover this far up the mountain. Hiding places would be scarce from here on in. The giant had gone and Arvey’s mind turned to the magpie who had woken him by pecking his hand. Where was he? “Psst!” whispered Arvey hoarsely “Mr Bird! Where are you Mr Bird. I owe you a biscuit. Mr Bird!” but the magpie was nowhere to be seen. After a while Arvey’s eyes began to close, the fright had worn him clean out and he fell into the first deep sleep since he had left the village.

When he woke the sun was full in the sky and he felt warm to his bones. He peered over the trunk of the tree, there was no sign of Jimmy, but the aftermath of his sneeze stretched for quite a way, the grass lay flat to the ground as thought it had been pressed by a heavy roller like as Lords would have for their front gardens. By the look of things the giant had been but a few feet away. Arvey collected his things together and was just about to settle down when something caught his eye. It was the magpie laying in the grass quite obviously in pain. Arvey looked at the magpie closely. “Looks like you have a busted wing Mr Bird, no more flying about for you. Now” he said picking up the magpie and stroking the back of his head “Now if this were the village one of the women would pull your neck and take you for the pot, but the village it aint. And I am off to the magical lake, and if ‘tis half as magical as they say then I would imagine a few drops of it’s water might as fix your wing good and proper” he wrapped the bird up in a cloth from his pack “So you will have to come with me my friend. Now I was going to travel at night for fear of Jimmy, but your busted luck changes things I reckon. One good turn deserves another. We shall set off now and trust to my luck, which appears better than yours. Even if you don’t get fixed up at the lake you will stay with me and come back to the village where I shall feed you like a lord. No bird that ever lived will have eaten as much as you. You will grow fat from my hand I promise Mr Bird. In fact even if your wing does mend I doubt you should be able to take off due to the scran in your belly. For you saved my life Mr Bird and for that I shall ever be your servant. You must be in quite some pain my friend. Nothing I can do about that I am afraid, but it will ease after a while I shouldn’t wonder. Come, let’s find this lake, do this business and then we can return home,. My t’is nice as to have someone to talk to Mr Bird. Before you came along I swear I was starting to go mad......”

Arvey spoke to the bird as he climbed the way alongside the stream, sometimes having to gingerly pick his way across from one side of the water to the other. As the sun was at the juggler’s very apex before it’s fall behind the mountain he saw the emerald green cliffs rear up for the first time. They rose in an awesome semi circle like the devils outstretched and encompassing cloak, an evil thought made rock and thrown up as a threat, as though they were waiting to crash down upon cowering world  below. “See Mr Bird, we are almost there. It’s the cliffs it is, and at the bottom of the cliffs is the lake. And I will ask the mountain to let go the rain, to mend your wing broken by a sneeze, and bless my step mother for her kindness. For Mr Bird, once I am at the water’s edge I can take her potion and Jimmy will not only be unable to smell me, but I will be invisible to him also my friend. We are nearly there....” Arvey’s pace quickened, the aches and scrapes from the ascent fell away from his legs, he had begun to doubt the existence of the lake, but now he was nearly there. He thought of the rain he would unleash, What a hero he would become. He heard the village all cheering as he returned from the mountain king with cool rain at one shoulder and Mr Bird his new companion perched upon the other. The stream climbed upwards and then became a steep waterfall. Arvey picked his way up the hill alongside the waterfall with the magpie under his arm. Up and up and up and up the hill he went using his free arm to help him climb.

At the top of the hill the lake stretched out in front of  him with the sheer  angry cliffs it’s backdrop. The crystal water was still, not a ripple broke the surface. “Look Mr Bird here we are, we made it. Can’t as see any leaping fishes as such, but this must be it I reckon. Now we need to find somewhere to put the Mountain kings present then the rest of the time is ours my little friend, but first this” He dug into his bag and pulled out the potion, he unscrewed the top of the phial and drained its contents “ There. There we are. Now we won’t be disturbed by having ourselves eaten by sneezing giants in need of handkerchiefs like a tent.” Arvey felt around in the pack for the offering for the king of the mountain. He brought out the bag of food and laid it in the bronze bowl that the villagers thought would please the king. Arvey bowed “Lord of the mountain” he shouted at the cliffs” I bring an offering from the village of Lumpton, We are a poor people us, farmers and workers of the land we are your mightiness. We humbly beg that if this offering pleases you enough, you will let the clouds go from behind your lofty shoulders and allow the rain to fall upon our fields and upon our heads and all the heads of our friends and families. Let it rain your highness....” Arvey had rehearsed what he had to say many many times. He had been schooled by the villagers, who all chipped in the sugared words they thought would move the mountain, but now Arvey forgot what he was supposed to say. “Er let it rain Mr mountain king,....um... there are people that want to move away from the village, no that’s not it” Arvey stumbled and shook his head. He had become very dizzy. “Mr Bird!” he called ” Mr Bird I think I am in some trouble.” Arvey fell to his knees at the waters edge, he splashed his face with the ice cold water “Mr Bird, I fear I must let you down, I am sorry my friend,” on all fours he shook his head. At that moment Arvey saw the most beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life looking up at him from the water. “Mr Bird! I fear I am dying. Angels! I can see angels!”  Her hair was green and waved about her head with the movement of the water, huge blue eyes looked up at him, she smiled.  Arvey was laying on the ground by now, his breath shallow and a darkness crept into the corners of his vision. The lady’s head broke the surface of the water

“You have come” she said “You have come, where so many have failed. What is the matter with you? Are you enchanted? You there!!” Arvey could not speak the darkness was all about him now. He could feel nothing. His vision was a mere pin prick of light, a pin prick filled with a face of such striking beauty. The strangest thing was that he felt the kiss of his step mother once more upon his forehead burning like embrocation it was, then all his pain had gone with a wooosh, all the aches and worries of what was happening to him drained away. There was just a huge arching cathedral like nothing that his body seemed to belong to. All was dead carpeted silence and a warm delicious smooth chocolate darkness.

chapter 2

THE CROOK OF THE MOUNTAIN KING’S ELBOW

2.

 No don’t bother yourself getting up Lord...as if you ever would. Lay there like purple lichen for all I care.

But eh.

You is missing the Summer my lovely! The sun is being kind this year he is, not so much rain to speak of at all. Mark my words majesty, those as can remember will look back on his year as a warm shining golden tunnel of wanton ‘appiness they will. I tell you, an mark my words, there will be a proper crop of babies come spring, rutting like rabbits they are out in the fields, you can almost smell ‘em. Strong boys for your war band they’re making, big fit lads and beautiful daughters like as you might crown with bows. Now, not that it bothers me any, I mean, you do as you likes, far be it from me to tell an ‘ighness what to do, but you is missing it, all of it. Brown from the kisses of the sun the girls are, beautiful and horny as a rich uncle’s shortlist of potential wives. Sticky with lovely sin and dizzy drunk on long warm evenings watching the fireflys dance. They will sing about this season particular when I am dead and you are as old as your father. And you! Look at you! You can’t as even pull yourself out of your sweaty pit of a bed. It aint right master.

You.....now then.

You is up to something I reckons.  A plan, a plan you got of something or other, isn’t it eh? Nobody would stay in here unless it was a part of some, I dunno, some greater scheme of things, not that its seeming for a woodentop like me to think on it, but.... But will you take me with you highness? Eh? Me and my shit humble family? Sit at your right hand will I? Telling you stories? The devil in your ear? Just as you likes it.

  I hears your father worries about you he does. There’s telling around and abouts that you won’t see him none. Now you be careful as you don’t tell him about me is that clear? Last thing I needs is the attention of a great Lord bearing down upon me and mine. You will look after us won’t you? Like as you’d never forget your friends eh? On your side I’ll be in a whisper , coz you is up to something, aint yer? Or my name aint Everyman.

*

Eh?

*

Any road up

*

Now this ‘ere story as I am telling, this ‘ere story goes on it does and I hears you asked that I should as carry it on. Called for me you did rather than that saggy harpy bitch. Might not make you happy when it finishes though. Tis the story of Gods and lowly men. An’ lowly men tend not to fare so well when put up against Lords, kings and Gods. Tend to die we does, in bloody droves for things we aint meant to understand. Fodder to the likes of you we are, meat to fill sausage skins. Any road up. Here to tell a story I am and that’s what I shall do.

*

Now where was I?

*

Here or here abouts........

A month passed slow, like treacle off a fat mother’s spoon. Arvey laid there good as dead he did, breathing ankle shallow, but not moving an inch. Covered in moss he was, so as to hide him from Jimmy, who was want to walk at the lake’s edge in the blanket of night and taunt the lady, the lady who Arvey had seen in the water.

 Now she fiercely watched over Arvey, fed him shining golden fishes in his dreams she did, poured the stark cold crystal waters into his dead mouth and waited, for she knew he was far from lost, just enchanted.  During the day she would stroke his face and cry over him, begging him to wake. At night she would do her best to lure the stupid giant away from where Arvey’s body lay hidden, for fear the ugly brute would tread upon him and squash him into jam. Arvey gave no sign of life, no movement at all, not so much as a flinch. To the eye he looked like a bump of moss upon the lush ground, a bump of moss favoured by a solitary, mad as may butter bird that wouldn’t fly away.

 During that month Jimmy didn’t spot him once, although an inkling in his pebble hard brain told him that something was very much out of the ordinary. Jimmy could smell something, something so delicious, so different to the run of the mill of things, as it pulled him back to the same spot night after night, nostril twitching in suspicious anticipation. Feeling frustrated at his inability to spot what was wrinkling his nose, he would bellow and throw rocks,

SPALLOOOSH!

 , in the hope of hitting the naked ladyfish with the long green hair, but his sport always turned bad. She was far too fleet a target and could move through the water faster than rocks through the air, faster than a wayward arrow.  After an hour or so of sniffing around Jimmy would shout at her a while, then give up and stomp away down the mountain loosening boulders with his low tremulous moaning and violent sneezes. But! He would always return the following night, knuckles anxiously ploughing the earth in grooves where he stood. Jimmy would once upon a time only visit infrequently, once his courage was up, and he needed courage, for he had fallen in love with the green haired beauty living in the lake. Ah, but since Arvey’s arrival his visits had been every night. He would pace the side of the lake like a massive moth eaten caged bear he would. She in her turn would worry as Jimmy paced and screamed, worried that Arvey would stir and draw attention to himself, then she would be powerless and Jimmy would snuff out Arvey’s life in a second with one stamp of a lonely monolithic foot.

The time as passed slowly like the last blip, plip, plop, drips of spring, until Arvey sensed the tiniest pimple of light in the regretful, panting, fat lazy black dog emptiness that the potion had mummified him in. It started as a lightening of the shadow it did, glowing at the side of his vision and grew like the onset of a slow honey drip dawn, lighter and lighter it blushed until his brain twinkled like frost and began to modestly sparkle and thaw. It’s difficult to describe how he felt, after all he had been asleep for a whole month, and when the blood in Arvey’s body began to move, every bit of him screamed with the imposition of it all.  He had been all but dead, bits of his body had been cottoned on by the spell that they were little better than stone. The journey he took before he could as much as move a finger took three days. He began to feel the cold, began to feel more hungry than he had ever felt, a hunger that chewed on his bones, pulled his soul into a tiny cupboard hidden in the very pit of his stomach,  screaming like a baby. His brain raced as though every tentative new heartbeat blew thoughts around his head like a tempest, all chaos and flashing pictures. He thought of Jimmy, of Elaine his step mother, of the words she had said that had been twisted into an evil septic barb. Arvey thought of the face that had looked up at him from the water, the most beautiful thing he had ever seen in his life, and how concerned she had seemed, concerned about him. Her eyes were so much more than lovely, but she had been a dream surely, just a dream, a dream, a dream.

Arvey awoke like the thawing of an ice castle. Bit by bit by bit the curse melted away.

The first thing the lady knew, the thing that made her realise that something was ever so very up was Mr Bird. Making an awful din he was and pecking at the moss that covered Arvey. She noticed that his body was only just about moving, twitch followed twitch on his way to waking up, as though emerging from hibernation all hazey and stiff. Arvey had been coming around for three days by now, his brain was working almost perfectly, but his body would still not answer its bidding, dead it was, like a forgotten puppet. She looked up at the sky, evening was beginning to draw in. Jimmy would be here within a handful of hours and unless Arvey could be awoken or moved the giant would spot him easily and crush him in a moment.  She would have to do something to draw Jimmy away, but he would smell him surely. The sun set and filled the world with molten gold and deep warm shadows. Arvey did not so much as stir, but she was worried she was, afeared  what chaos the night would bring. She would have to lie, that would be the only thing she could do, lie to the giant, sing to him. Drag his attention so far from Arvey for as long as possible, that even if Arvey were to sit up then Jimmy wouldn’t notice.

Night crept slowly over the mountain like sullen guilt and the lady waited. Waited for the sound of Jimmy’s distant but inevitable approach. She sat herself upon one of the rocks that broke the surface in the centre of the lake and combed her long emeral hair. Made herself all lovely like, tasty like a birthday cake, but with half an eye upon where Arvey still lay, occasionally twitching as his body reluctantly came back to life. The night was as warm as the evening. Even though the lake was towards the top of his lordship the mountain, the air hung as though it were heavier than usual and the dusky  insects seemed to be dancing to its torpid tune in a silver moonlit festival of their own making. All was quiet until the first distant footfall resounded through the air with a 

dull.......damp.....thud.

 He was coming. She looked at Arvey who was blessedly still. The crashes of Jimmy’s feet grew ever closer. Mr bird hopped from one foot to the other as if he knew how tense the hours would grow, how far from the sanctuary of dawn they were. The lady thought of what she had to do, and the danger that the more she drew Jimmy’s attention away from Arvey then the longer he would be likely to stay. Nothing moved saved the giant’s approach, the night hung like a heavy silver velvet curtain awaiting the onset of the show.

Then all at once he was there, ugly as regret and as loud as chaos. Howling his greeting with a pitiful ignorance he pounded his fists into the earth and shook the mountain to it’s foundations. He screamed of how lost a soul he was and how far from grace he had fallen, lamenting his ill made clumsiness. Jimmy wailed a symphony of ugliness, of solitude and bitter anger.  The lady closed her eyes, thought of Arvey’s vulnerable body, took one fathoms deep, long hopeful breath and began to sing as like nothing that had ever been heard. Her song began quietly it did. It told of distant oceans, of enormous skies, great black storms, of flying with the shimmering silver fishes. It told of yearning, of eternal hope and desperation. It filled the natural bowl with which the mountain had surrounded the lake like a tempest. The lady’s song swelled like the sea, crashed like waves against the white chalk cliffs of her beloved coast where the mountain’s kingdom met with her own. Jimmy stood astounded, heartbroken, smitten, carried away by the melancholy of her voice. She sang for hours, her voice trying to explain, as though Jimmy could understand her thoughts, as though Jimmy could share her pain. He stood slack jawed, his feet rooted, borne away like driftwood upon the massive swollen tide of her voice. He had never heard anything so beautiful. She sang forever, and he listened and gawped, time standing statue still, as though he had never used his eyes or ears before, astounded like the quarter baked in the presence of ultimate beauty. The lady sang and sang, her voice lifted from the lake to the ear of the very mountain itself. Just as she began to wonder how she could possibly keep the giant enthralled until dawn, the clouds began to gather around the summit above her. Black they were, black and mischievous. Thunder began a violent lowly growl. Jimmy looked up at the sky and wailed like one hundred wolves, shaking his fists at the appalling sky. The thunder seemed to answer. Jimmy howled again in defiance. The thunder turned to white whip crack lightning which flashed around the lakes edge. The air filled with electricity, the sky turned to white angry fire and blasted diamond fingers of fury at the giants feet. Jimmy shrieked back, but retreated, sullen like, from the lake with reluctance in defeat. The lady tossed back her emerald hair and laughed like one hundred tiny bells realising that she had cooked up an argument between Jimmy and the mountain. There could only be one winner. Jimmy crashed angrily down the mountain like a spoilt child bawling as he descended.

 Then, at last he had gone, the thunder abated and the lake was left in peace as the first rumours of dawn began to peep from the far east. 

The night was dead.

 She had won.

Chapter 3

THE CROOK OF THE MOUNTAIN KINGS ELBOW

3.

Now then. Arvey heard her song as loud as the thunder that brought the lady’s aria to an end. The song left the lake so sad. He couldn’t understand what she was saying, but could understand how lonely she was, how very very far from home she found herself and how helpless her situation had become. Arvey had only ever heard at most three instruments playing together in his whole life and her voice was a thousand strong, instruments that he had never heard before, all playing as one mighty swirling voice bringing down the night sky to kiss the ground. Plucked the stars like strings it did, making music of the heavens. During the song he had managed to peel open his eyes and had seen her curled about the rock, smacked to it she was, her glistening green tail wrapped around the wet stone, reflecting and illuminated by at first the cold, brittle broken bottle moonlight and then in the rude and sudden dashes of fantastic lightning that whipped the air about her. She was so dolefully pretty, so sadly charming that the world seemed unable to do anything but gaze transfixed . Every shining pebble on the lake shore stared, every thin blade of grass looked long, as though she were something that would only ever happen the once, like a month of Sundays, and then disappear forever. It was like being close up and comfy to a shooting star. By spectacular contrast he had now seen Jimmy for the first time. An enormous confused mass of muscle, gristle, arms, legs and belly, like a whole army had been beaten and moulded into one slab of a body, limb bingo, as ugly as the lake lady was beautiful. His mouth a wide bore hole in the middle of an enormous bald head, which came to a rude full stop in a squashed mushroom of a nose. His face, although large, seemed to take up far too little of his massive head. A heavy outcrop of village idiot brow protected two tiny beady eyes, furious black coal like nuggets, small as though they weren’t needed and furious at that very fact. Jimmy’s mouth had been wide open in something like shock while he listened to her song. His huge elephant ears slowly flapped, drinking in the swell of her voice, taken aback and bewitched he was. Stuck to the spot, helpless. His fists swung on the end of his long thick arms, digging into the earth in time to the spell she was weaving.  Arvey watched, knowing that if he moved,

if he moved......

 then Jimmy would see him and he would be dead within moments. The giant, for that’s what he was, looked as though he could stop an entire army with just one massive swish of one hand. Just his fists were as big as the cottage that Avrey’s grandmother had lived in before she died. The hymn rose and died within the fury thrown up by the mountain king. Jimmy, the spell broken, crashed back down the mountain furious like a spoilt child scolded.

She had won she had. Clung to the rumour of the sun’s rising.

 And the lake lady? She slipped slowly from the rock into the water accompanied by the first blue clue of the coming day.

Arvey lay, still covered in moss, as the bones in his body grew accustom to the life that had now began to blossom inside him. The pain which the awakening brought, like the arrival of an unpopular aunt, stabbed at every part of him. Hurt deep it did. The sun climbed into a blue sky, but unlike the fallen night previous the morning was cold. As the mountain was so high the warmth that Arvey had hoped would come, was replaced by a chill. Mr Bird fussed about him, pecking at the ground in front of his face. Arvey tentatively moved a finger, then his arm, groaning at the trouble that he was putting his body to. His head span between throbs. He pulled himself up onto his elbows and gasped, filling his lungs with fresh mountain air. Then she was there, looking at him from under the water as Arvey managed to slowly unfold himself into a sitting position. Arvey was still taken aback by her beauty, she moved so easily through the water as though she were dancing. A voice appeared in his head and told him not to worry as the giant had gone and would not trouble them. The day would keep him where ever he was. Arvey could not hear her voice. It was as though he were thinking. When she had spoken to him all he could hear with his ears was the lapping of the water and the squawking and chirruping of Mr Bird.

“How long have I been asleeping?” Arvey asked

“Thirty nights.” came the reply as a thought “You were enchanted. Even I could not break the spell. It must have been a fair pretty one at that, I am a fairly able witch and could not as much as budge it. How are you? Are you strong?”

“I am four leagues tired.” he replied

“I helped you” she said “I hid you from Grarth and fed you. Are you strong?”

“Why do you ask me if I am strong?”

“Because you have to leave. I cannot hide you if you can move, he will smell you and he will surely kill you, even I cannot help you then.”

“Is Grarth the giant?” Arvey asked

“Yes, he will kill you as sure as the tides. Look over your shoulder when the sun dies. You must needs be gone” she said.

Arvey looked at her he did. She had saved him from the giant after all, she had fed him and looked after him while he had slept, stopped his lazy bones from sinking dead into the soft brown earth forever. He owed her his life and she was a fine bit of fishy tirly whirly if ever there was one.

  “Who are you lady?” he asked “Why did you save me of all the boys that have crawled this far? What have I done to deserve your attention? I am only my father’s son on an errand to his highness the great mountain king. He as to who chooses to hold back the rain. There have been lads before me lady as have not returned. Why did you not save them?”

“I have seen none other, upon my word. A father’s son?” she asked of him” A father’s son great enough to have enemies I would say. That was a masterful spell that pinned you to your temporary grave day after day.” She looked about her and gestured towards the sheer green moss covered walls that ran up to the summit “Great mountain king?” she laughed”  How great is stone? I am the granddaughter of the Queen of the sea! None other! The mountain king holds me tightly here hostage. We are enemies. I was stolen brave young man...... And I am to stay here until my grandmother entreats the............him and pays homage. “ She raised her head and voice proudldy” And she never will. She is the mighty Queen of all the oceans is she not?” The lake lady shook her green hair a pace and then shouted up at the bluffs “Why then, why should she bow down to a bad tempered old rock who tries to rise above his station?”

Arvey had to interrupt as she had begun in the middle of a story that he didn’t know the beginning of “Lady. Lady. Why don’t you escape?”

“I cannot, the streams that flow from this lake are too small, the mountain knows this. That is why he keeps me here like a pet. I am here till I die. My grandmother..... “ with this the lake lady lowered her head and grew sad “does not know where I am. She may think I am dead.” she burst into tears, huge sobs seemed to come from the pit of her soul and burst like fireworks inside Arvey’s head. The lake lady swam away, out of Arvey’s sight. He looked down at the magpie at his side.

“Mr Bird, Mr Bird!” He said, his eyes on fire “This will not do my little friend.  We have to help this poor creature.“ Arvey bent down as though to whisper to the magpie. “ She may be a goddess!  Think on that. And pretty, so very pretty she is, like a....like as I don’t know nor never will.  It breaks my heart to hear her cry. She speaks inside my head you know! How about them eggs? I cannot hear her with my ears, but she speaks here...” he tapped his forehead with his finger” inside my head! Do you hear her Mr Bird? In your wonderful little bird brain? We have to help her I reckon, save her we do. We as ‘ave to cock our beavers and save the day I reckon.  Just imagine Mr Bird. Just imagine the riches that the Queen of the sea could give us. Me and you. All of the treasure from every sunken pirate ship that they tell of could be ours” Pearls as big as turnips and all the fishes we can eat! And, between you and me...this lake lady is the most beautiful thing , I swear, that I have ever seen. If we save her then.....” The magpie hopped from one foot to the other. “Playing your cards close to your black and white chest eh? Can’t say I blame you, but she saved me, just as you did my friend, saved me from that beast of a monster. Did you see him? He would have killed me soon as look at me! Shall we try to save her Mr Bird? You and me?  I think we shall! It’s the right thing to do!”

After a while the lady returned to the shore, urging Arvey to clear out of it, leave immediately. Arvey told her that he would like to carry a message to the Queen of the sea, telling her the whereabouts of her granddaughter. “You cannot, she will not hear you” the lake lady looked sad again “You are but a man. She is the Queen of the sea.”

“Why will she not hear me? I will tell her that you are trapped! By the mountain....” the lady interrupted

“She cannot hear you. You are too.....” she searched for a word” .too..small. That is why the mountain cannot see you. You are like a.....thing, a small animal, a spider. The mountain and the sea are too big to hear a voice as small as yours.  Now if you were a fish....but you are not. It’s hopeless. Run! Before Grarth returns and murders you where you sit!”

“But the mountain sees you he does, He threw lightning at you. I saw it”

“I take up more space in things than you do or understand, brave though you are. I am the........” she stopped herself, “..nevermind. It’s useless. Run, please run.”

“Why do you not send a fish with a message?”

“The fish here are too tiny and would forget before they even left the lake bless their little fishy scales, useless they are.  And the pike are too bitter and full of themselves, they think they are mighty kings. They are only interested in battles and killing. They would serve me, yes, but they would twist what I said to their own ends. Only good for one thing. Assasins they are, murderous and cold”

“There must be a way that I can take a message. Why I can walk to the sea’s edge. I have always wanted to visit the sea. You saved me. I have to help you. Think on it. I will try to walk and you think of a way that I can help and I will do so. I give you my word. I promise.”

“There is a way.” She said “I will have to sing again, and it will have to be at night so as not to arouse the suspicion of the mountain. He will think I am trying to charm Grarth. That is why he grew so angry before. I can capture the song in a shell and trap it. There is one shell in the lake that will hold a song, just one. If you played it in the sea then my grandmother would hear. But...it’s no good, you will not survive the night, you will die. He will see you and kill you. He did not see you before because to him you were dead, but he could still smell you, I could tell. With you awake he would know at once. It’s no good! Run. Save yourself if you can”

“There must as be a way lady. Think. You hid me before.”

“Perhaps there is. Kiss me.” Arvey leant forward eagerly like a boy at a spring dance and kissed the lady on the lips. She held his head against hers. Arvey felt his body overtaken by a great cold, as cold as a castles dungeon. A sop cold it was, all wet and misty, but not unpleasant. The lady held his head for a long time, the kiss went on and on, but there was no passion in her embrace, just the cold breath that filled him from toe to bonce. When as she broke away Arvey could not breath, he gasped, but no air would enter his lungs. She beckoned him into the water, he followed, his face turning blue. Then once he was in the lake up to his shoulders, she pulled him under the still water. Arvey found that he could breathe. She smiled at him. “ This is how I will hide you and when I sing the rock in the centre of the lake must be between you and Grarth. Do not move. It is still dangerous, but perhaps the water will mask your stench. I do not know how long the charm will work, but it is the only way. The bird will have to fend for itself as it has done these days passed.”

Arvey spent a few hours swimming under the surface of the lake with the lady. She told him stories of huge bright blue oceans that lay beyond the drop of the land, of great under sea palaces, of fish, as big as great halls, that can swallow ships whole. She told of her grandmother and of her mighty long dead grandfather who ruled the seas with fairness and love. They played in the depths like children, Arvey only moving slowly, all arms and clumsy legs, while she darted about him laughing and poking fun. Eventually the enchantment wore off and Arvey returned to the surface. He sat on the shore and ate raw golden fish that she caught him, fish so sweet that he asked for more. Mr bird hopped about and tugged at thick juicy worms that he pulled from the ground. Arvey told her of his village, and of the drought. He called back stories of things he had done as a boy, the yearly festivals and fairs, the visitors and players that brought things from over the seas, he told her of his father and of Elaine’s treachery. He grew sad when he realised that his father may well now think that Arvey was dead. He cried at the sadness his father must feel to be without him.

 The lady listened and watched the sky for the bruise of evening. And on it came. She readied herself, scrubbed herself up all lovely she did, teased her hair and shone the scales on her body and tail until she gleamed with beauty. Then, as the sun began to plop out of the heavens, it’s days work done, they kissed again, longer this time. To Arvey it seemed like hours, the darkness grew until the day had all but gone. They kissed as the stars appeared in the clear velvet purple sky.  She spoke in his head, told him to be brave, not to move, to listen to her song to take away the cold. And still they kissed unbroken, as the small animals tucked themselves up in their burrows, and the foxes cleaned themselves ready for the hunt. And as they kissed. Oh as they kissed, Arvey fell incurably in love with the lady whose name he did not yet know and lost his way in her cold magical breath that filled his body. Then just as Arvey began to think that their kiss would last forever ...

DOOMmmm!

There was a dull and distant thud somewhere down the mountain. It was night time, show time. The evening was dead as a doornail and Arvey from that day on would always mourn its passing. The day was done and Grarth was being drawn to the lakeside. The lady broke the spell of the kiss and pulled away.

“It begins”  she said

*

There it is I reckon. That’ll do you for now. Excitin’ aint it? I can see your peepers a widenin’. That’s  as the time to leave it for now. I’ll be going now if it pleases yer ‘ighness. My Mrs will be cookin’ up right enough, what with the fields a burgeonin’ an’ that. Plenty on the plate for your ‘umble servant there will be. An’ makes the most of it we ‘as to. ‘T aint like your goodness sire, we can’t as much as just call for vitals any time we likes all year round, such as yourself can. No, we ‘as to get nice and fat now, store up us bellys for the winter coming. Watch the mrs get all plump we do. She is a fair beautiful sight come the shortenin of days. Glows she does an’ all. A fine gigglin’ lovin’ mattress she is then, when the cider has whipped away her graces. God love her to pieces.

Now don’t be a lookin’ like that. It’s meant to leave you gaspin’ for more, that’s what a good tellin’ is all about aint it? Sire I ‘as to go, the evenin’s setting in and my godffers will be waiting for their story if you don’t mind. You need to be carefull as the story only lasts so long as the speakin’ and if you don’t leave me go it will be shorter in the long run if you follows.

 Oh be kind. You can’t attach me to your pit like the lake lady, I must needs be gone.

But the evenin’s be long about now, and the sun will be golden and last all night, I can sit outside my hovel with a smoke and think on the next bit of the story. Don’t ‘ave me a beggin Lord. It’s alright for you to lay there like a deadun, but me, I ‘as things as I must do. I have only so many hours in the day. It’s only fair that I gets to enjoy a little bit of it innit? Dont be a sour udderfull. I can’t be ‘anging about like a ghast all lolloping about like old wall hangings like your good self. After all that telling my throat has such a spark and I am hungry see. I don’t have an army of people who I can tell what is what, that night is day and that indoors is good as outside as you does. Get them to let me out. You can do it with a flick of your finger. Don’t be a badun, leave me go.

Till the next time then. Sleep well, dream of big women and leave yer ‘ands outside the bed clothes for fear of blindness.

Chapter 4

THE CROOK OF THE MOUNTAIN KING’S ELBOW

4.

“Here as maybe soon as plenty”, as my old Ma used to say. Here we is again. T’as been a while since you called for me sir. Thought you had forgotten all about me I did. Been sittin’ an waitin’ I have. The Mrs, love her, has been naggin’ for me to send messages. “Ee’s done with you” she says” Lost a nice little earner you ‘ave”, but I knew you would as call. “Can’t leave ‘em lost in that lofty pond can he?” says I to her. “A good lad he is and he will call” and here I am, thank the seasons. Your ‘umblest servant with an open ear and buttoned lip.

 So what you been up to little Lordship? I have heard words that you have been out and about some, got out of his bed and broke bread with his father so I hears. Well done lad. Best to keep in with those as ‘as  the love to feed us eh? Still up to something though is yer? Young you may be, stupid you certainly aint. How ‘ave you been busying yourself? I ask coz I cares enough Lordship. Let’s not be forgetting our friends shall we? Grown you ‘ave, good as gold I swear. Can you get much bigger? How you don’t grow fat lay lying there I don’t know.

 And what of stories eh? Oh I knows you know. T’aint but your father that has ears all over mind. Been havin’ your mind twisted by that redundant wet nurse ‘as you? Well there’s no accountin’ for tastes as they say. Each to his own I reckon, not that I understand any. I can’t begin the imaginings of what nonsense an’ rubbish she might be a fillin’ your young head with. Her with her forests, girly sprites and stupid magical woodland folk. Oh I knows her stories alright. Linfod Treefellow an ‘is adventures? I has to listen to ‘em an all at gatherings, an when I does have to listen? Well my bum itches for goin’ home like it aint been wiped proper. Ingrown eyelash that woman is. Real bout of bench arse I gets listenin’ to her. Stick with me Lord I says. Give me your grace, not her. Close to your father she is mind, coz of what they used to get up to when you was but a godfer. It will all go back to him an’ all, mark my words an’ all. Don’t be sharing any secrets with that whoreabout. May as well shout out the window you may.

*

Any road up.

*

Where was we eh? Up to us unmentionables hiding from giants if I remembers rightly.

Well now...

She sings again she does. Louder and sweeter than before. Sings like a gang of angels in need of supper. Words? Oh she don’t sing words Lordship, not as we would understand anyways. She summons in song like the witchiest witch and some more. Wraps her voice around the world like a favourite blanket and holds you in her arms like as your mother used to want to. There is nothing to understand like questions and answers. Oh no. Her voice throws everything up in the air and makes patterns. It would pull your soul into your chest and set it skitterin’ like a sack of kittens it would, or crush the sensation in your gut till it squeaked out tears or laughter, an ache that you crave, but wish would go away. That’s the lake lady’s singing true enough. It’s not for the brain in your head this song, it works on the brain in your belly and heart. You know. That feeling of doom when you know you have done wrong. Just there, just there it provokes, the place where lust sparks and blossoms into excitement. That’s as where it plays. No there aren’t words to speak of, just a wish to hang your heart upon like summer washing. Spell like, it is, and wonder and dreams it brings. Fear and happiness stirred into a sweet swirling eruption of sparks and twinkling spangles. What it is to understand everything and nothing at the same time, that’s how it feels and it endures in your hope like the loudest most sincere prayer forced through the eye of the quietest whisper.

*

Ah yes!

*

So the night passes and again the giant is made stone during the song, the only thing moving being his massive flat ears that flap slowly like flags in the dark, catching every intonation with flinches, every moment they drink. And as the lake lady sings... As she sings she catches the entire incantation carefully in the shell that she holds ever so delicately, while Arvey hides beneath the surface of the water similarly charmed into unmoving quiet astonishment. The singing lasts until the mountain once more begins to grumble at being woken. Turning grumpily to face the lady he spoils the aria through the tempered shouting of thunder and the throwing of dashing quicksilver lightning. Mountains despise being awake more than anything, and once again Grarth is dismissed from the lakeside with the mountain’s stormy violence ,like an unpopular step child he is. His pleas to the King for more time to listen to the song go unheard, as before he retreats angrily and dejected with the first flush of the new day. Away he crashes, away to his unknown hiding place, leaving in his backwash....soft sweetness sanctuary, safety and peace settle behind him with every crushed heartbroken footstep.

Thoom! 

Thoom!

 Thoom!

Thoom!

Thoom!

Thoom

!

Thoom!

Thoom!

And all is still.  All is still.......The lady fusses with the shell, whispering into it and stroking its casing until the song is trapped firmly in place. Then it seems, and only then, that the morning begins in earnest. The birds begin their gossip and the ground begins to exhale before breathing in the day. Arvey experiences the spell that helped him breath underwater squeeze away in his lungs into nothing and he returns to the surface to gulp the air. The lake lady looks down at him smiling. “We won again” she said and slides delicately off the rock and into the water with the most modest of splashes. But she is not at ease with her black as velvet victory. Restless she is “Quickly! Out of the water now. You must be gone. Be as far down the mountain as your legs and lungs will allow you brave boy. Grath ranges far at night. The mountainside is his garden and he can move faster and is more fierce than you might imagine. My fish have told me so. He has may places to hide from the daytime and he will know where you are.”

“But lady...”

“No buts or questions. Run! Run Arvey run or you will surely die.” As she urged him to immediate action she swam around him urgently making tiny whirlpools with the agitated flicks of her fishy tail while he trod water confused “Go! Please. You have but one chance and it is still a very slim one.” Arvey swam to the shore and gathered the few things he could take with him as quickly as he could. When he was ready she held out her hand. “Take this shell, but please be careful, it is very fragile and wants to break. The spell that holds it together was made in desperation so it makes it’s parcel very brittle. There are no other shells in the lake big enough to hold the song, just this one very precious thing. Guard it for me well.”

“I will lady. I promise”

“Don’t be wasting your time promising. Go!” Arvey wrapped the shell in the linen that had wrapped the offering for the mountain king and put it carefully in his pack as he spoke.

“But lady I don’t know your name. How can I tell them....”

“My name is the song in the shell, just drop it into the sea when you arrive there, it doesn’t matter where. Once the shell is in the sea the song will find my grandmother. Stay near the water that runs from my prison. If you are hungry put your hands in the water. The fishes will come. They will give themselves to you, but be careful to thank them, they are my little ones. Now go.”

“But what do I call you?” he asked her

“My name is long and you could never understand it. Call me whatever you like, it matters nothing. What matters is that you leave here now. Please”

“It matters to me lady, you saved my life”

“And Arvey?”

“Yes lady?”

“You may well still die you know. He will find you. Forgive me.”

“Forgive you nothing. He won’t catch me I tell you. Me ‘an Mr Bird are far smarter than him. We found you didn’t we?” Arvey stood with his pack upon his back ready to go, but could not. “I may never see you again lady. One kiss more”

“If you must” Arvey knelt down and she kissed him briefly on the forehead then smiled. “Who would have thought a boy would be so brave”

“I am not a boy lady. But a man!”

 “Of course you are. Now stop talking and go now. Run as though there were flames at your feet. I will send my fishes to see you as far away as their little brains can manage. I have sent many ahead already. Just take the shortest route down, and at night hide somewhere small where his fingers cannot reach. If it stinks, all the better. Don’t be fooled by his sneezing, he can smell better than the sharks that clean the oceans and his ears can capture the smallest sound for miles around. He is a crafty beast of a thing. If you need help seek out creatures that live by water. They may help, but beware. There will be some that I mean very little to and may mean you harm just to thwart me. Arvey, whatever happens you must promise never to return, it will be far too dangerous here. Promise me.”

“What creatures lady? And what if....what if I defeat Grath?”

“You won’t. You can’t! But even if you did, which you won’t, the mountain will know and he will hunt you then you are dead. Understand me, if you returned here you would have no hope at all and you would die here. Your only chance is to run. Your luck here at the lake is long dead already. Promise me and go!”

 “I give you my word, I promise. As Mr Bird is my witness I promise.”

“Be gone man!”

With that, Harvey picked up Mr Bird, stuffed him into his jacket and with his pack over his shoulder began to run. The lady called after him “Run Arvey. Run! No matter how far you get he will come for you, sure as the night will come and help him. Run. Run. Run!”

Arvey began his descent. Keeping the stream in the corner of his eye all the time he ran like the hunted, but being careful enough not to damage either the cargo upon his back or his feathery friend in his jacket. Over rocks he clambered, through long grass he whisked, crossing the stream many times to find the easier ground for his feet and on he skittered downwards. Only resting to catch his breath, he covered quite a distance from the lake, never looking back, always forwards, always concentrating hard upon his next step. One slip and it could all be over. The shell could easily smash, or if he turned his ankle he would be Grath’s victim for sure. Every footstep had to be sure, steady and fleet. The day grew old at his shoulder and the evening came so fast as to take him by surprise. He was very hungry, sorely tired and the remaining light grew ever shorter as the shadows lengthened.

“We must find somewhere to rest Mr Bird, somewhere to hide. I don’t mind telling you my friend that I am more scared now as I have ever been. He.....He will come. He will come sure as eggs is eggs he will come and he will find me also. Even now he must know where I am. How soon in the evening can he set out I wonder? How soon till we hear his forlorn flat fat feet?

 We must find ourselves somewhere to hide.” Arvey searched and in a short time found a cave that, although it had a large entrance, stretched back quite a way from the outside world. “We will wait here.“ he reasoned with the magpie held in his hands” Hide in the back of the cave we will and wait for Grarth to come. What do you think?” The magpie seemed to nod and gently pecked Arveys thumb. “The evening is here already and I haven’t eaten. You stay here with my pack and I will run down to the stream” The magpie cawed “Don’t worry my little friend. I won’t be long. I need to eat. We will hear Grarth a long time before he plots at our door. You can guard our precious shell. Look, don’t worry, the stream is there, see?” Arvey pointed to the water that lay a small distance away” I will be but a moment. Watch me and guard that pack with your life.”

Arvey took off and ran at full speed to the stream. Remembering what the lake lady had said he cupped his hands and lowered them gently into the water. In no time at all a large silver fish swam into his grasp. Arvey lifted it out of the water in amazement. “She was right” he said” Thank you Mr Fish. I would not eat you normally after making your acquaintance in this way, but I have to and I have another small beak to feed if he cannot root out some worms. Thank you Mr Fish” Arvey lifted the fish up to his nose to sniff it, as the fish he had eaten raw at the lake smelled as good as they tasted. “Ah well Mr Fish, you may not smell so sweet as your cousins, but your flesh will be as welcome. Food is food and beggars can’t be.....” Arvey killed the fish by efficiently banging its head upon a rock, just as he did he heard Grarth roar not so very far away and felt the tremulous repercussions of the giant’s feet shake the earth beneath him. Arvey started like a rabbit and made for the cave full pelt, the fish clasped to his body. The tremors in the ground grew more violent and the roar so loud as to be almost unbearable. He saw Grarth just as he entered the cave, snatching up the bird and the bag as he dashed inside. He moved to the rear of the cave and leant against the dank wall breathing heavily in the thick damp darkness. He placed the magpie on the ground hurriedly. “You will have to fend for yourself for a bit Mr Bird. Make yourself small, small as can be, small as lost hope my little friend and he may not notice you. I must fill his nostrils. You are small, do as the lady asked and run Mr Bird. RUN!.”

 Grarth was now at the mouth of the cave and as he was too big to enter he roared angrily. His voice filled the blackness where Arvey hid. The walls shook and Arvey hid his ears in his hands. He could just about make out Grarth’s hand groping up the cave towards him tearing at the walls as it came. The rock crumbled away like soft earth in the giant’s grip. The darkness fully engulfed the cave now, the giant’s body blocking the light as he groped for Arvey, his fingers tearing menacingly at the walls. Arvey heard the cave around him coming away under the giant’s massive fingers. “He will collapse everything on top of us Mr Bird. Listen, I will run and distract him so that you can escape my friend or we are both finished.” Arvey shouted above the din of rocks falling from the ceiling.

Then....

Then.....

All was quiet. Arvey could just about make out the mouth of the cave ahead of him. “He has gone, but where has he gone? Oh I am not so stupid as to think he has left us. He is waiting outside. That’s it, he must have heard me. Grarth!” he called “ Grarth. Can you hear me? Do you know how ugly you are?” Outside all was silent, but Arvey knew what waited outside should he be foolish enough to venture that far.

“Grarth! Think you can catch me do you? You won’t have me for supper I tell you” he shouted. Then he whispered “Can you hear me now Grarth? With those big ridiculous ears of yours? Can you? You will never get me here you know. I shall wait  until the sun burns your hideous bald bonce. I will wait then I will escape you. Do you hear me Grarth?” Arvey was surprised that he could hear nothing, not even a sniffle from the giant’s constantly runny nose. “I know what you are doing and it won’t work, do you hear me monster? I am not coming out until morning, try as you might.” Again, silence. Arvey waited for what seemed to him half a lifetime. He could see nothing save a very faint glimmer of night at the mouth of the cave. All was quiet enough as to hear his own breathing. Mr Bird had long gone and Arvey was afraid to call for him save the giant heard his callings and tried to find the magpie in his stead. What to do? Should he really wait here till morning? That seemed the sensible thing to do, the only thing to do. But the giant was clever indeed. The silence was gnawing at Arvey’s curiosity. How could he not hear the giant? Where was he? Had he gone? Arvey scolded himself decided to stay at the back of the cave where the giant could not reach him. An hour passed and nothing. Arvey sat and did his best to eat the stinking raw fish, too polite to throw it away. Maybe that was it. Maybe the giant could only smell the fish and not him. Or was his tired mind playing tricks, tricks that his crafty enemy knew too well. “He will find you and kill you” the lake lady had said. “Well he has found me” thought Arvey “but he hasn’t killed me. He could have pulled the ceiling down on top of me, nearly did. Then he stopped. Why?”

There was an almighty CRASH at the mouth of the cave and then another. The sound of large rocks falling to the ground made Arvey jump and the sound of Grarth’s grunting began to worry him. “Why doesn’t he collapse the cave in on top of me? That’s what I would do. I would be dead in a moment.” he thought “Unless...unless he wants ME. Ohhhh my. He wants me and aims to get me before the rising sun spoils his fun. What’s he doing?” Arvey squinted towards the mouth of the cave. He could see nothing, but the crashes and groans of exertion grew all the more. “What are you doing Grarth?” he called “You won’t get me. The rising sun will save me again and then you can do nothing.” The groans and crashing stopped. “That’s right Grarth, the sun will rise and you will have to run, like me. Then I will escape you. You know that don’t you Grarth. I will escape you, you know.” All was still again for a moment and then the crashing started again. The noise seemed to be coming from above Arvey somewhere. Grarth was digging downwards, he aimed to dig Arvey out of the ground like a truffle. Arvey was stiff with fear. He had no idea how long it would take Grarth to find him, nor how long it was till dawn. “Can’t be long now surely” Arvey thought, but he didn’t really know. It could have been hours or minutes since the giant appeared at the cave’s door. The break of day could be hours and hours away and by the sound of what was happening above him, hours was a luxury that his hands didn’t hold. Arvey had to do something. But what? Running was futile, but it was the only thing he could do.

 The crashing grew louder. Surely it would be any time now and he would be plucked from the cave like marrow from a big fat bone. He had to run and trust to his luck. Trust his luck. It had seen him fine and dandy so far hadn’t it? He groped for the bag that he had put down, and slowly and quietly pulled it over his shoulder. His one regret was not being able to tell Mr Bird for fear of the giant hearing. Hopefully Arvey might make his escape, if he were careful, the giant being too busy to notice. He would have to be quiet as thieves, quick and silent as guilt.

 He edged toward the mouth of the cave, the crashing continued. Grarth sounded excited now, as though the giant thought it were but a matter of time. Arvey sneaked away, around the mouth of the cave and worked his way carefully down the mountain. He knew he didn’t have long and thought of finding another cave. Grarth was making an awful noise crashing rocks and roaring and then all was quiet. “He knows” thought Arvey. “He knows” Once more he began to run down the mountainside, all the time looking for another cave, then he heard a footstep crash behind him and then one in front. Grarth was there towering above him. This was it. Grarth lifted a huge foot in the air. Arvey closed his eyes and waited for the inevitable. Grarth roared louder than Arvey had ever heard, so pleased with himself he was. The growl was so monstrousy loud that Arvey stumbled and fell onto his back, hitting his head, thrown over by the giant’s rotten breath. A massive slab of a foot hung over him in the air.

Then, when all was lost, when the lights went out and all hoped died...The lady! The lady began to sing. She began to sing the song of the lake as Arvey’s eyes closed, as Grarth’s fatal foot bore down upon him. She sang as he slipped into darkness and then all was warm and nothing hurt, as nothing would hurt ever again.

And she sang

And she sang

And she sang